Friday, 3 April 2009

Burn them at the steak!

Well bugger me! Hot on the heels of my ramblings about our bigoted society comes the 'revelation' that nearly 20% of the professional therapists responsible for treating mental health issues think that being 'gay' is a disease to be 'cured'.

Actually, on a purely physical and scientific level they are probably right. No, no, stay with me here. You see, your brain is nothing more than a blob of physical matter, suspended in a hot chemically charged soup. That's it. Nothing more. Think of it like a wet cell battery, much like the one you have in your car. Somehow, the lump inside your skull combines with its broth and, magically, from nowhere, springs a whole host of unexplained things including your spirit, personality, imagination and desires.

So at a very simplistic level, according to behavioural averages and norms, some people's head broth hasn't quite mixed up into the expected soup of heterosexuality and that if we can just pop a bit of 'seasoning' in there somehow we can adjust the recipe and get you back to 'normal'. Get the neurons to behave differently.

Quite how they think they can address this issue though is beyond me. I imagine the scenario:

Therapist to male 'patient': "OK, men's bottoms equals baaaad, very bad. Womens vagina's gooood, very good."

Male 'Patient' to therapist: "What about women's bottoms?"

Therapist to patient:" Er..............."

I can't see it working can you? Clearly these taxpayer funded fatheads have a chemical brain imbalance of their own. The magic of the human being, for better or worse, is that we are one of the few examples where you can see the notion of 'greater than the sum of its parts' in action. Granted, we often abuse that gift, but in the main, we are quite literally a miracle to behold. But the fact that we turn out in a variety of shapes and sizes, thought patterns and preferences (including sexual) should be celebrated, not calibrated. Unfortunately, the worst aspect of human evolution is that some of us feel we know better than others.

Rather unwittingly, the NHS is clearly suffering from something that its been bleating on to the rest of us about for some time - morbid obesity. Time the NHS went on a controlled diet and got rid of its 'fat belly' of bigoted thinkers.

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